Tuesday, 16 March 2010

The Case for the Prosecution

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I place before you Exhibit A in the case of Doyle versus Arthur Norbert Rodent of  Greenhouse Footings, Carters Barn, Wiltshire.
Every year I lose a proportion of seeds to mice. They are particularly partial to pea and bean seeds, and since I know this, I should really take precautionary measures to prevent my early sowing of broad bean seeds ending up like this. I always sow peas and beans in trays or pots, as they are just devoured if I sow them outside. You will note, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the way the defendant has chewed his way through the skin and devoured the inside of the seed, leaving behind the discarded skin as DNA evidence.

There is a fairly healthy population of wood mice around here, and frankly I don't like killing them, but they come into my greenhouse at their peril. So it's mouse traps, and/or poison. I wish there was a way of scaring them away, but if I don't take steps now, I will be overrun by summer.
So, donning my black cap, I find in favour of the plaintiff Doyle in this case and do prounounce the sentence of this court that A N Rodent be summarily despatched to the Great Mouse Cemetary in the Sky.

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